Dog Song, The
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Chords (Alternate Version)
1) My dog, he goes 'round sprinkling; and doesn't waste time thinking,
‘bout what it is he's drinking; he don't think a lot,
His pee becomes attractive to canines sexually active,
but one sorry fact is there's equipment he ain't got.
2) Oh, a dog lives by it's nose and peein' where he goes,
it's the only way a dog knows the other dog's around
communicates by leavin' stains; has a nose that's bigger than his brains
still I love my dog, so I'll keep my dog around
(instrumental - verse)
3) He don't realize he's neutered, though he chewed out all the sutures,
it's just that he looks cuter without testosterone.
Confuses all the he-dogs; they investigate him be-cause
their nose say's he's a Sheila but his gear says he's Jerome.
4) Oh, a dog lives by it's nose, interpreting pheromones,
no testosterone means it's got to be female.
Don't matter what equipment's there, they'll take a poke and they don't care
where there's other dogs, I make my dog sit down
5) My dog ain't intellectual, I-don’t think he’s homosexual,
he's just ineffectual though he's got strong desires.
He's fizz without the cola, he's no rock and roll-a,
his gun is fully loaded, but he can't make it fire.
6) Oh, a dog lives by it's nose, and almost anything goes,
when into the throes of animal desire,
any dog, chopped or spayed, he'll even try a (my) hairy leg,
when that feelin' comes, he'll hump whatever's around
a patch of mossy ground; a cat that's upside down; my wife's old fake fur gown,
if that dog likes you git yer arse up off the ground.